To my dearest neighbor

Dear Person who lives with my neighbor upstairs,

Are you aware of the patio just right outside of that front window? You know the one with the sliding glass door, that gives you access to the OUTSIDE of the apt? Oh I'm sure you are cause I've seen you sitting out there on a few occasions. Since we know you are oriented to the area, can you please take you and that damn cigarette that you seem to want to light up every morning IN THE BATHROOM outside? I mean, really! What is truly the point of smoking in the bathroom when you have access to a porch and a patio? Do you like to bask in the second-hand smoke?Are you trying to hide it from my neighbor by doing it in there, cause if you are that's stupid! He'll still be able to smell it. Dumb ass Smart guy SMH. Now I'm not one to try and tell anyone what to do but the smoke you put out in your bathroom travels down into our bathroom and its awful. Now when you can't even properly brush your teeth in the morning or breath regularly while doing your business for that matter- there's a definite issue. I don't want to have to get all "bitchy neighbor" on you but you pushin' it! Just be courteous and take that ish outside please, thank you :)

Signed with attitude,
Your downstairs neighbor who would rather die from natural causes or a freak accident NOT second-hand carcinogens

I wonder if I should print this and place it on their door? LOL