Wednesday, May 7, 2014

I think I got it.

Actually I know I got it........

The constant gnawing heat that comes over me while at work, disturbs me at night when I want to sleep and consumes me as I watch television...... It rises up inside of me and turns me into some sort of crazed animal. The fever.

Yep, I'm talking about: BABY FEVER.

Ya'll I got it bad. Every time I see a baby I get all googly eyed and I envision myself with a sweet, chunky chocolately juicy little one. One time I even misted up watching a commercial....that ish was cray. 

This almost overpowering urge came from just about no where. I've always been on the fence about when it was MAYBE a good time to start a family- and then.... BAM! Suddenly I'm surfing the web trying to figure out the fastest and best way to get pregnant.

Really I think this is coming from the fact that I am at a very stable point in my young life: I'm married, finished with school, working full time with steady income, own a home...... I'm more stable than I've ever been-EVER. So my mind is like "uhm, babies.....NOW." When I've brought the issue to some ladies who have some years on me I hear things like "Honey worry about your career right now, having kids will only slow you down" or "you two are young, you got plenty of time to have kids.... just wait." But this fever is relentless! I see FB friends who are announcing that they are having a baby, or hear about a friend finding out she's pregnant and I'm like " What? She wasn't even trying!!! Crap. When will it be my turn?"

I have to find ways to curb it because the way things look with my husbands work schedule, it will probably be a while before I'm announcing any news like that :( so I go with my church to volunteer at a children's shelter and I sprint to the baby room so I can love on some squishies for a few hours, or I drool over baby pictures I come across while picturing myself in mommy mode. SIGH...... If only.

I do know though that God has a plan for our life, and when it's meant to be it will definitely happen!

Whooooo! Glad I got that off my chest........

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